Have you ever just wanted to say what you are thinking as opposed to what is politically correct or acceptable??? Well, surprise...I pretty much say what's on my mind most of the time. Don't get me wrong, I don't set out to create a scene or embarrassing moment, I just liven things up a little when ever I can. So whenever people ask me some questions, or give advice, or just make comments that unnerve me a little, I usually have a come back. For Example...
Question from a cashier: How would you like to pay for that?
My answer: Out of your pocket!
Advice from my daughter: Pick your battles!
My answer: I just did!
Greeting from the waiter: My name is Joe and I will be your waiter tonight.
My answer: My name is Bonnie and I will be your customer tonight.
Comment from a friend after a heated debate: You are so opinionated.
My answer: Thank you...Would you like to have one too???
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Mis-Matched Shoes
Never ever buy the same shoes in more than one color.The Fashion Police will attest to this! I found the best pair of Espadrilles at Gotschalks (formerly known as Harris Co.). They were cute, comfortable, and available in an aray of fashion colors. I loved them so much, I bought three pairs. Basic Black, Navy Blue and Red. When I found out I would be going on a business trip, I was exited to wear them. The night before the trip, I set the alarm clock for 3:30 am (well I meant to, but it ended up pm). I had ironed my outfit to save time in the morning. I'm awakened at 4:30 am from a deep sleep, with the faint sound of knocking at my front door. I run to the front door in my sweatshirt pajama gown that has an elephant on the front with a long trunk stretching up to the chest and a peanut hanging out of the end of the trunk. I digress!!! I answer the door and I promise my boss that I won't take more than 20 minutes to get ready. In lightning speed, I'm putting on my eyeliner as I brush my teeth. Combing my hair as I put on my lipstick. I finally stand next to the dark closet, slipping my right foot and then my left into my Espadrilles. I run outside, where it is still dark, and jump into the back seat. About half way to our destination, the sun starts peaking out and I look down with pride hoping to gaze at my new shoes, only to find that I have on one navy and one black shoe. I frantically tell my boss that we have to stop at a shoe store before I go to the meeting. He tries to harass me and convince me that he won't stop, but then realizes that I am in no mood to negotiate. We get to our destination and I drop him off as I drive to the nearest mall. As I wait for a little shoe boutique to open, the manager approaches the store. After some begging, he allowed me in the store early to pick out a new pair of matching shoes. As I shop in the store, he gets on the phone and calls his boyfriend. "Oh girl, I thought I was still drunk when I saw her shoes!", "She was desperate, I had to let her in!!!". I finally pick out a pair that matches my outfit, and wear them out of the store to start my journey back to the meeting place. As I enter the hotel, I decide to stop by the bathroom and freshen up. Back to normal, I run to find the meeting room. About 20 feet from the bathroom, I hear someone running up behind me and then a loud stomp. I turned around to find that one of the hotel employees is attacking the 20 foot streamer of toilet paper that is clinging to my shoe. I am deafened by the laughter of those who find my humiliation amusing. How could I have made such a foolish mistake??? Purchasing the same shoes in so many colors, is a recipe for disaster!!!
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Attack Of The Project Natzi
You all know Mandy as the "Project Queen" or the "Goddess of Decorating on a Low Budget". But I'm here to tell you all the truth today.
Let me set the scene for you. New Years Day. I am in Mandy and Josh's dining room working on my computer while Josh and Mandy are in the living room watching a football game. The kids are playing Guitar Hero in the Family Room.
Suddenly that eery feeling comes into the air. It's that same feeling you get when there is a creepy silence before the storm. When you hear a stone silence before the earth quake if you will!!!
But I digress!
In a flash, Josh and I stop what we are doing and give each other that "Deer In The Headlights Look". It's that feeling that we have felt over and over again, when boredom overtakes Mandy and you realize that she is missing from the room.
Enter.....Duh, Duh, Duh, Duh....THE PROJECT NATZI!!!
Without even making a sound, she has moved everything away from the walls in the kitchen and started painting walls.
We peek around the corner hoping that she won't see us. The transformation has taken place.
Much like David Banner when he feels the anger at it's peek, the fix it monster has come to the surface. The casual clothing is ripped away and painting clothes suddenly appear. Her hair is pulled back away from her face, and like magic, every tool she needs to paint with, are in the kitchen in place to start her project.
Josh and I quietly peek around the corner, trying not to disturb the monster. We are painfully aware that if she gets a sighting of us, she will have tasks for us to do in her project frenzie! We tip toe back to where we were, and pretend not to notice that the Natzi is working on her evil plan to transform the house, one room at a time.
We are her unsuspecting prisoners and we never know when she is going to enter the room, and become a dictator shouting out orders for each of us. We start to feel a false sense of security. Somehow, we have managed to stay under the radar! Then, without warning, she enters the room.
Like watching a silent movie in fast forward speed, I am in the kitchen helping her move things back in to place and complimenting her work. Josh in the mean time has found a better hiding place and manages to stay away until her project regeme has ended!
I have lived through another attack, and I am a SURVIVER!!!
Let me set the scene for you. New Years Day. I am in Mandy and Josh's dining room working on my computer while Josh and Mandy are in the living room watching a football game. The kids are playing Guitar Hero in the Family Room.
Suddenly that eery feeling comes into the air. It's that same feeling you get when there is a creepy silence before the storm. When you hear a stone silence before the earth quake if you will!!!
But I digress!
In a flash, Josh and I stop what we are doing and give each other that "Deer In The Headlights Look". It's that feeling that we have felt over and over again, when boredom overtakes Mandy and you realize that she is missing from the room.
Enter.....Duh, Duh, Duh, Duh....THE PROJECT NATZI!!!
Without even making a sound, she has moved everything away from the walls in the kitchen and started painting walls.
We peek around the corner hoping that she won't see us. The transformation has taken place.
Much like David Banner when he feels the anger at it's peek, the fix it monster has come to the surface. The casual clothing is ripped away and painting clothes suddenly appear. Her hair is pulled back away from her face, and like magic, every tool she needs to paint with, are in the kitchen in place to start her project.
Josh and I quietly peek around the corner, trying not to disturb the monster. We are painfully aware that if she gets a sighting of us, she will have tasks for us to do in her project frenzie! We tip toe back to where we were, and pretend not to notice that the Natzi is working on her evil plan to transform the house, one room at a time.
We are her unsuspecting prisoners and we never know when she is going to enter the room, and become a dictator shouting out orders for each of us. We start to feel a false sense of security. Somehow, we have managed to stay under the radar! Then, without warning, she enters the room.
Like watching a silent movie in fast forward speed, I am in the kitchen helping her move things back in to place and complimenting her work. Josh in the mean time has found a better hiding place and manages to stay away until her project regeme has ended!
I have lived through another attack, and I am a SURVIVER!!!
Friday, January 2, 2009
Customers New Years Resolution
THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT!!!!
However, I know quite a few retailers who would love it if certain consumers were to commit to the following 10 New Years Resolutions.
1. I will not get to the drive through window and ask for a Braille menu
2. I will not answer "With Your Money!" when the cashier asks me, "How Would You Like To Pay For that?"
3. I will not say, "Yes, Right Where You Left Everything!" when the sales person asks, "Did You Find Everything OK?"
4. I will not hold up the line while I search the bottom of my purse for exact change
5. I will not challenge every price on every item the cashier rings up
6. I will not say, "Hello, my name is Bonnie, and I will be your customer today!", when the server at the restaurant introduces themselves at the table
7. I will not take more than the maximum number of items allowed at the Express checkout
8. I will not park my SUV in the compact car space, and I will park within the lines
9. I will not leave perishables such as frozen foods on the gum rack at the grocery checkout because I am too lazy to put it back where I found it
10. I will not ignore or tell the charity worker outside the store that "I Already Gave" and keep walking
This is dedicated to all of the Retailers, Servers, and Customer Service representatives who have had to endure long lines, cranky customers and working long hours on holidays!
My own personal New Years Resolutions are 2 blogs down!
Thank You For Your Hard Work!!!
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