Top Ten New Years Resolutions

10. This year, I will spend more time with my kids and grand-kids at their homes, and less time stocking my own fridge.

9. This year, I will pay to have my hair dyed so that my forehead is not dyed chestnut brown.

8. This year, I will try to be successful at weight loss, or gain 10 pounds so I have a better chance at the quarter million on "Biggest Looser".

7. This year, I will watch less TV, because I am too cheap to buy the converter.

6. This year, I won't wait for the other person to leave the bathroom first. I will proudly exit without shame as I look them right in the eye!

5. This year, I will wash my hands every time I leave the public bathroom.

4. This year, I will try not to pick my teeth with my tongue, straws , credit cards or the edge of a piece of paper.

3. This year, I will not jerk my head away when someone catches me staring at them. I will simply keep staring and then smile strangely.

2. This year, I will be kind enough to tell people when I see a whistler hanging from their nose.

And the number one New Years Resolution.....

1. This year, I will stop sniffing my hand every time I touch something.

Happy New Year!!!