Advice, Comments and Come Backs

Have you ever just wanted to say what you are thinking as opposed to what is politically correct or acceptable??? Well, surprise...I pretty much say what's on my mind most of the time. Don't get me wrong, I don't set out to create a scene or embarrassing moment, I just liven things up a little when ever I can. So whenever people ask me some questions, or give advice, or just make comments that unnerve me a little, I usually have a come back. For Example...

Question from a cashier: How would you like to pay for that?

My answer: Out of your pocket!

Advice from my daughter: Pick your battles!

My answer: I just did!

Greeting from the waiter: My name is Joe and I will be your waiter tonight.

My answer: My name is Bonnie and I will be your customer tonight.

Comment from a friend after a heated debate: You are so opinionated.

My answer: Thank you...Would you like to have one too???

Mis-Matched Shoes

Never ever buy the same shoes in more than one color.The Fashion Police will attest to this! I found the best pair of Espadrilles at Gotschalks (formerly known as Harris Co.). They were cute, comfortable, and available in an aray of fashion colors. I loved them so much, I bought three pairs. Basic Black, Navy Blue and Red. When I found out I would be going on a business trip, I was exited to wear them. The night before the trip, I set the alarm clock for 3:30 am (well I meant to, but it ended up pm). I had ironed my outfit to save time in the morning. I'm awakened at 4:30 am from a deep sleep, with the faint sound of knocking at my front door. I run to the front door in my sweatshirt pajama gown that has an elephant on the front with a long trunk stretching up to the chest and a peanut hanging out of the end of the trunk. I digress!!! I answer the door and I promise my boss that I won't take more than 20 minutes to get ready. In lightning speed, I'm putting on my eyeliner as I brush my teeth. Combing my hair as I put on my lipstick. I finally stand next to the dark closet, slipping my right foot and then my left into my Espadrilles. I run outside, where it is still dark, and jump into the back seat. About half way to our destination, the sun starts peaking out and I look down with pride hoping to gaze at my new shoes, only to find that I have on one navy and one black shoe. I frantically tell my boss that we have to stop at a shoe store before I go to the meeting. He tries to harass me and convince me that he won't stop, but then realizes that I am in no mood to negotiate. We get to our destination and I drop him off as I drive to the nearest mall. As I wait for a little shoe boutique to open, the manager approaches the store. After some begging, he allowed me in the store early to pick out a new pair of matching shoes. As I shop in the store, he gets on the phone and calls his boyfriend. "Oh girl, I thought I was still drunk when I saw her shoes!", "She was desperate, I had to let her in!!!". I finally pick out a pair that matches my outfit, and wear them out of the store to start my journey back to the meeting place. As I enter the hotel, I decide to stop by the bathroom and freshen up. Back to normal, I run to find the meeting room. About 20 feet from the bathroom, I hear someone running up behind me and then a loud stomp. I turned around to find that one of the hotel employees is attacking the 20 foot streamer of toilet paper that is clinging to my shoe. I am deafened by the laughter of those who find my humiliation amusing. How could I have made such a foolish mistake??? Purchasing the same shoes in so many colors, is a recipe for disaster!!!