Attack Of The Project Natzi

You all know Mandy as the "Project Queen" or the "Goddess of Decorating on a Low Budget". But I'm here to tell you all the truth today.

Let me set the scene for you. New Years Day. I am in Mandy and Josh's dining room working on my computer while Josh and Mandy are in the living room watching a football game. The kids are playing Guitar Hero in the Family Room.

Suddenly that eery feeling comes into the air. It's that same feeling you get when there is a creepy silence before the storm. When you hear a stone silence before the earth quake if you will!!!

But I digress!

In a flash, Josh and I stop what we are doing and give each other that "Deer In The Headlights Look". It's that feeling that we have felt over and over again, when boredom overtakes Mandy and you realize that she is missing from the room.

Enter.....Duh, Duh, Duh, Duh....THE PROJECT NATZI!!!

Without even making a sound, she has moved everything away from the walls in the kitchen and started painting walls.

We peek around the corner hoping that she won't see us. The transformation has taken place.

Much like David Banner when he feels the anger at it's peek, the fix it monster has come to the surface. The casual clothing is ripped away and painting clothes suddenly appear. Her hair is pulled back away from her face, and like magic, every tool she needs to paint with, are in the kitchen in place to start her project.

Josh and I quietly peek around the corner, trying not to disturb the monster. We are painfully aware that if she gets a sighting of us, she will have tasks for us to do in her project frenzie! We tip toe back to where we were, and pretend not to notice that the Natzi is working on her evil plan to transform the house, one room at a time.

We are her unsuspecting prisoners and we never know when she is going to enter the room, and become a dictator shouting out orders for each of us. We start to feel a false sense of security. Somehow, we have managed to stay under the radar! Then, without warning, she enters the room.

Like watching a silent movie in fast forward speed, I am in the kitchen helping her move things back in to place and complimenting her work. Josh in the mean time has found a better hiding place and manages to stay away until her project regeme has ended!

I have lived through another attack, and I am a SURVIVER!!!

Customers New Years Resolution

THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT!!!!

However, I know quite a few retailers who would love it if certain consumers were to commit to the following 10 New Years Resolutions.

1. I will not get to the drive through window and ask for a Braille menu
2. I will not answer "With Your Money!" when the cashier asks me, "How Would You Like To Pay For that?"
3. I will not say, "Yes, Right Where You Left Everything!" when the sales person asks, "Did You Find Everything OK?"
4. I will not hold up the line while I search the bottom of my purse for exact change
5. I will not challenge every price on every item the cashier rings up
6. I will not say, "Hello, my name is Bonnie, and I will be your customer today!", when the server at the restaurant introduces themselves at the table
7. I will not take more than the maximum number of items allowed at the Express checkout
8. I will not park my SUV in the compact car space, and I will park within the lines
9. I will not leave perishables such as frozen foods on the gum rack at the grocery checkout because I am too lazy to put it back where I found it
10. I will not ignore or tell the charity worker outside the store that "I Already Gave" and keep walking

This is dedicated to all of the Retailers, Servers, and Customer Service representatives who have had to endure long lines, cranky customers and working long hours on holidays!

My own personal New Years Resolutions are 2 blogs down!

Thank You For Your Hard Work!!!